Binge’s Adventures Abroad Day 4 – Failed Assassination attempt by Russian Sprite

spriteDay 4 started with a minor disaster, I was assaulted by a bottle of Sprite. I can’t remember whether or not I’ve mentioned this before but the “Gulag” is deemed a dry zone and I didn’t fancy my chances of sneaking a few bottles of beer through the security checkpoints, (well the X rays might explode the alcohol)

So I was reduced to buying a bottle of Sprite at the Supermarket. Which I stuffed in the freezer to chill, just before I went to sleep. I woke up in the early hours and realised the bottle was probably frozen solid and about to explode.

Binge ruminating on the assassination attempt by the Sprite bottle
Binge ruminating on the assassination attempt by the Sprite bottle

To remedy this I tiptoed across the room (anxious not to wake my roomy Lynne) to move the offending beverage into the fridge, as I gingerly opening the freezer door, the bottle rolled out and bounced very accurately and deftly on the toes of my left foot. Ouch Excruciating.

Uttering a number of expletives I hopped around the kitchen area for a full 30 seconds trying desperately to subdue the urge to scream. Them for some reason, I decided that as I’d gone to all of this effort to save the bottle that I might as well try to drink it……Wrong move Binge. I opened the top and the bloody thing erupted all over the kitchen floor.

IMG_3118Lynne very graciously said that she had not heard the commotion during the night although she had been rather curious as to why she was sticking to the floor!

So the swimming for Binge on Day 4 is the 200 free, a “fun” event, well as much fun as you can have at these things. I was pretty chilled about the event and as a result swam a pretty unremarkable 2:50 ish, God remember the days when without any training you could do 2:25 this age lark is really beginning to take its toll.

Yesterday afternoon’s trip to the Kremlin and Bauman Strasse had been such a raging success that Lynne and I decided to retrace our footsteps, we were joined by honorary homme de Francais, Le Dunk and the glamorous Roz. Now at times Le Dunk can be insupportable but he does have his skills which include being world class at bullshitting and self promotion and also having a flair for languages. I don’t even possess an O level in French so any one who can string two syllables together in an accent other than Geordie is linguistically gifted to me.

IMG_3149We found a cafe bar with some outside seating and collapsed around a table  hungry and thirsty, to be faced with an impenetrable menu in both Russian and Tartarstanese but “Nyet English” which was was the only comprehensible words we could summon from the waitress.

c3poNow in swimming circles it is a little known fact that Le Dunk was the early inspiration for the Star Wars protocol droid C3PO and while even he is not proficient in 6 million forms of communication, identifying  this изделия on the menu as pasta indicates his awesomeness although even he failed miserably to order a bottle of wine.

By the time we’d worked our way through a few beers and a portion of spaghetti carbonara the place was beginning to fill up and we were able to order a second course of chips and a third course of ice cream by pointing at various other diner’s plates. A rather odd combination but a brilliant night out and whilst all of my Evil Mutant Swim Coaches would likely shake their heads and tut, it set me up nicely for my big event tomorrow.

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